Wanting to succeed but lacking the motivation.

So tonight Im sitting on my arse, watching Deal or No Deal. I see this woman saying No Deal to $10,000.....$14,000.......$16,000.......BOOM....down to $9,000. Eh. Good on her! I just imagine all the things I would do with that money. Not exciting things, boring things that people usually squint at you for and think you're mental. Yes, I have developed a love for spending money on the most mind numbing of things. BUT, to my defence, a beautiful bathroom isnt boring...it can be fun...surely...a pin ball machine next to the vanity or a dart board in front of the toilet? YES! 
Anyways. I have this book with me called 'YOUR MORTGAGE - How to save $50,000 to $250,000 per property' God, now THAT is the most boring title in the history of MAN! 
I start reading it thinking I might actually learn something here and save money and be fantastic and have lots of money to have my beautiful yet exciting as a carnival ride bathroom!! 
NO FUCKING WAY! As soon as I read words like 'Tax-Scale' and 'offset accounts' you lost me in a world of cardboard and white noise. 
I was thinking. I would like someone to explain this to me in 5 minutes (2 if they are good) so I dont have to read the book, THEN Id be interested. Other than that...I think I would like to have this book in a shelf so it LOOKED like I read it. And if people asked me, I would say "Yes its a good read for those who know their offset accounts" and they would look at me like I was a cocky bitch but who may or may not have lots of money stored away in a massive piggy bank that I wasnt telling people about. .....its fun to dream. 

Ahh well....Ill just wait for that email to tell me my Great Uncle Mustaffa from Africa (who I have never heard of) passes away and leaves his great fortune that he's been saving for decades with a picture of me on the jam jar to me! I hope he got my new email address tho. Maybe Ill send my bank account details so he can just deposit before he gets eaten by a cheater. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand SEND.

 

Final Curtain

Lights on. 

Centre Stage.

A quiet cough and settle her nerves.

Now a show. Now a Dance.

She speaks with no voice. No sound.

A silent play with a sad end.

I have to sit and watch.

This show isn't hers. 

Its danced on strings by someone else's hands.

The broken heart obvious, the smile transparent.

Look at me looking at her.

A fate she knows, she accepts. 

I stand and Applaud.

This show was for him.

Lights off.